Does the Weather Affect Aches and Pains?

Mom is hurting a lot today. She is really stiff. Her back hurts, her legs hurt, her arm hurts. I can tell by how she is walking that she is in pain. It is taking lots of effort for her to get up out of her chair today. She is wincing. Her pain is much more noticeable than usual.

I wonder if the change in weather has anything to do with her pain and/or stiffness? Although the weather is still really nice today (70's), it's very windy and there is rain in the forecast for tonight. Does the impending rain influence Mom's aches and pains? Or is it just random?

I have told Mom to take a Tylenol for the pain, but she will not. Can you say "stubborn"?

The interesting thing is that in a couple of hours, once Mom arrives at Bingo, her pain will miraculously be gone. Mom always says that no matter how much she is hurting, once she gets to Bingo and is concentrating on something else, she doesn't notice the pain. She walks around freely and is fine for those couple of hours.

I'm really glad to know that Mom will enjoy herself at Bingo tonight and will be "pain free" for a couple of hours. That'll be good for her.

And good for me, too. I sooooooooooooo look forward to Mom's Bingo nights! ;-)

Technology

My Mom is afraid of the telephone.

No, I don't mean that she has some phobia that a phone is going to attack her or anything like that. My Mom doesn't like the telephone for (at least) two reasons that I'm aware of:

1. Mom does NOT like phone trees. Now that customer service representatives have gone by the wayside in favor of technology, Mom does not like to make the phone calls necessary to conduct her business.

You know the story. Press 1 for English; press 2 for Spanish. Press 1 if you'd like to know our hours of operation; press 2 if you have a metered account; press 3 if you have a non-metered account; press 4 for more options. My Mom HATES dealing with phone trees. I don't know why she finds it so difficult to deal with,but she'd much prefer speaking to a real, live person. Technology defeats her. Someone else can deal with the phone trees, but it's not going to be her.

2. Mom can't hear all that well on the phone. We have a telephone that amplifies sound, but she still has some trouble hearing. There are a lot of times that she's speaking on the phone and I'll overhear her say "What? I can't hear you really well." When she's not looking, I'll dial up the volume on our telephone a bit in order to help her out. However, I have to remember to turn it down when I answer the phone, otherwise, it's as if the caller is shouting at me!

The funny thing is that I have been wondering for the past year why Mom always wants me to answer the phone at the house. I thought it was because she did not want to deal with solicitors, telemarketers, and survey-takers. Now, I understand a bit more about how her senses are diminishing with age and it occurred to me that she wants to hide her "disability" (from me? from herself?) for just a little longer. As long as it's not really harmful, I guess it's ok that we leave her with this illusion.

Coincidence?

The mind works in very mysterious ways. Isn't it interesting that when most memory loss begins, the short-term or most recent memories are lost, but the long-term memories remain intact?

Mom has had several incidents of short-term memory loss. Or maybe it's simply the aging process. Some days, it seems that she is fine... a normal 83 year old woman. On other days, I worry about what I perceive as "holes" in her memory. However, her memories from childhood do not appear to be affected.

For example, we were watching the WGN news today. One of the stories they had on was about an author who did a biography on Al Capone. Al Capone was a famous Chicago gangster/mobster from the Depression/Prohibition Era. The St. Valentine's Day Massacre is attributed to him. On February 14, 1929, seven people (5 of them members of a rival North side Irish gang) were allegedly killed by members of Al Capone's South side Italian gang.

As this story was being told, Mom says, "I'm pretty sure that Al Capone came to the farm when I was a kid." What???????????

The story goes that Harry D. (neighbor and related through marriage) brings some friends from Chicago to the farm when Mom was about 7 years old. This would be around 1934. They arrive in a Model T car. They have lots of gifts that they bring to the family... pots, pans, dishes, etc. Apparently, Harry D. had robbed a bank and met this man when in prison. Mom says that she didn't know who Al Capone was at the time, but in later years put it together after seeing his picture. They must have had a good visit, because Mom remembers all the adults drinking and laughing together.

What an awesome memory! Who could predict that Mom would later move to Chicago and end up living on the South side? Life is certainly filled with coincidence, isn't it?

Beware the Unusual!

My Mother has a million sayings. One of her most used saying is "Beware the unusual!" Apparently there is some big shock/change in store for you when you start to encounter unusual things happening all together in a "cluster of events". I tried doing some research on this superstition, but couldn't unearth anything that could tell me what was suppose to happen (good? bad?) or where this superstition came from.

If you read my last blog post, you know that Mom and I encountered the unusual on Friday. I didn't really think anything of it or the superstition until this morning when Mom got out of bed at 7:15am and announced "I can't sleep anymore. I have so much to do today, I'm going to get up." Now this unusual occurrence really got my attention! As you know, Mom is a late sleeper. But not today! She got up, had breakfast, did the breakfast dishes, got dressed and even went outside to check on the progress of the dandelions on our front lawn. I'm floored. Who is this woman?

Compounding the unusual are all the phone calls that we've received this morning. Mom's friends generally do not call early in the morning, but 3 of them have called her this morning. Before noon. What is going on here?

I commented to Mom about all of this. And, of course, she said "Beware the unusual!". I wonder what's going to happen? Maybe Mom will win big on the lottery. Now wouldn't that be a nice surprise for her!?! Stay tuned!

There's Nothing Wrong With Her Lungs!

Mom and I had an eventful day on Friday! It started out as just a regular old Friday. I dropped Mom off at the beauty salon for her regular 11am appointment. She got her hair done and visited with her pals, then walked over the Gilmart (the Polish deli/store) to play some lottery and see what they had on the lunch menu. Gilmart has an area of the store that has hot food for sale to either eat in (there is a small area with seating) or take-out. The food is great! They give you tons of food and it's an inexpensive meal - enough to share! So, Mom wanders over to see what's on the menu and decides to buy some fish and some noodles & cabbage (Gilmart makes THE BEST noodles & cabbage ever!). She brings this all home and we have lunch together. That's when she springs it on me. "Larry C's father died and the wake is today at Wolniak's from 2-9pm. Since I have Bingo tonight, I'd like to go before Bingo. Will you take me?" UGH No wonder she was so nice to me and bought food from Gilmart! haha

I know how much it means to Mom to go to these wakes/visitations. So I happily drive her over there (it's only a few miles away). I bring my current book to read as I wait in the car. This is my compromise for taking her to all the wakes/visitations. I don't have to go in with her unless I know the person and want to. She doesn't take too long... and it's starting to rain as she is getting into my vehicle... and the kids are getting out of school just about then. Needless to say, traffic is crazy being Friday afternoon, raining and around school dismissal time.

We are in the left turn lane, third from the front, when the action starts. A white van pulls into the left turn lane on the street to my left (where I'm heading). A moment later, we hear sirens and think that an ambulance is headed our way. WRONG! A grey vehicle screeches to a stop in front of the white van, pulling parallel to it so that it's path forward is blocked. Two guys (undercover police officers) get out of the grey vehicle WITH GUNS DRAWN and start yelling at the driver to get out of his vehicle. They pull the driver out of the van, toss him on the ground, and proceed to try to handcuff him while he is struggling to get away. OMG! Really? In my neighborhood?

I am stunned just about speechless, but manage to bring Mom's attention to all the action. Mom, on the other hand, starts screaming at me. "Move! Don't turn over there! Go straight! Get away from there!" Her reaction was priceless. She may not be able to see or hear all that well anymore, but there is certainly nothing wrong with her lungs!

P.S. We're fine. The police handled it like the professionals they are and no one was harmed. Just a little excitement in our otherwise quiet and normal lives.

Yes, Virginia, There Really Is A Santa Claus!

I've heard it said that those with memory loss meet new people every day. I think this applies to THINGS as well. Mom tends to find new items, especially clothing, every day. Just yesterday, she was looking through her closet to find a Spring jacket since the weather is turning warmer. She pulled out a blue and white jacket, looked at the size, and asked if it was mine. I looked at it, recognized it as something she'd worn last Spring, and told her so. She replied, "No, I didn't. I've never seen this jacket before in my life!" Ummmmm... wrong! She had seen it before. She wore it last year. Seriously, doesn't she remember????? How can she not?????

Something similar happened in the Fall. She reached into her closet, pulled out a red barn jacket from Land's End, asked if it was mine, and said "I've never seen this jacket before in my life!" Only, that time, I had not ever seen the jacket before. Strange. I thought it was coincidence, but Mom was convinced that someone had come into our house and put the jacket in our closet. I can only smile. Apparently, Santa Claus DOES exist.

Mom's logic escapes me. But I let it go because I don't want her to feel badly. I think she knows that she is not making sense. I think she knows that her memory is failing her. If she knows this, she doesn't need me to make the point any stronger. It's my job is make this phase of her life easier. So, if she thinks there is a Santa Claus, then so do I. ;-)

Oh, My Aching Bones!

My Mom is NOT a complainer. She handles pain and stiffness pretty well and will always answer the questions of how she is with a "Pretty good!" response. So when I hear her saying "Oh, my bones!" or "Oh, my aching bones!" or "Oh, I'm so stiff!" or "Oh, my muscles!", I know that she has to be in a lot of pain. She has been saying some variation of this every day for the past week.

We did some weeding in the front yard the other day, so I expected her to feel some consequences from doing yard work. But I certainly didn't expect the winces I saw when she got into my vehicle and started to reach for the seatbelt. Her arms cannot move in those backwards, twisty directions any longer! Looks like I will be getting the seatbelt into position for Mom when I help her into my vehicle now. ;-)

Most mornings, Mom wakes up with pain. I've heard tales from former professional athletes about how they take an hour to get out of bed in the morning because they are so stiff and have to warm up their muscles to get them moving. Maybe that's why Mom lays in bed for awhile in the morning! This morning, Mom actually told me that she would start taking a Tylenol before she went to bed in order to help the pain. This is a MAJOR win for us!!!!! However, on the way to her doctor's visit this morning, we had a bit of an "argument" because she did not want to tell her doctor about her stiffness because "she did not want to deal with getting x-rays or anything like that". Did I mention that my Mother is STUBBORN???

In addition to the "argument", we talked a bit about grammar schools (we passed a few on the drive to the doctor's office) and Mom talked about her grammar school days. My Mom grew up on a farm in Iowa. She is one of 15 children. They all walked to school (a couple of miles) and attended a one-room schoolhouse. Remember what school was like on "Little House of the Prairie"? That's the kind of grammar school my Mom attended. One of her favorite memories is of her dipping Alice's (the girl who sat in front of her) pigtails in her inkwell. Apparently, my Mother was a "stinker"! Some things never change.

Aging and the Art of Weeding

The weather has been absolutely beautiful in Chicago this past week, so the dandelions are out in force this weekend! Our front yard was a sea of yellow, so some serious weeding was on the "to do" list for today. Mom enjoys getting out in the front yard to get some sun and enjoy the outdoors, so she was ready to get outside and weed with me. I knew that I'd be doing the majority of the work, but I wasn't ready for what actually happened.

I went out to the garage and got a couple of weeding tools for us as well as 2 pairs of gardening gloves. We had some trash bags for the weeds, so we were ready. Mom started on the lawn closest to the house. If you have not seen front lawns in the city of Chicago recently, they are small. Each of the front sections takes about 5 passes with the lawn mower to complete the area. Mom's section has just a few dandelions. She handles that pretty well. She just bends over from the waist and does her weeding. She works slowly, but steadily, and got the job done. She then came over to stand near me and takes a break. She says that she has heartburn. The bending over has caused her to have heartburn. She tries to do a bit more, but I can tell that she is hurting. I tell her to take the first filled bag and put it in the garbage can in the alley. She does that and then sits down on the front stairs to "supervise". The other section of the lawn took quite a while. I was on my hands and knees weeding. I had to take a couple of breaks to stand up and stretch. Mom was really stiff and hurting. She didn't get up to help me again. She just sat there and enjoyed the breeze. And at age 83, she certainly deserves to supervise our yard projects!

The thing about this that makes me pause is that just last year, she'd been right out there with me weeding away. She had to take a break or two, but she'd do it and really enjoy it. This year, her bones, muscles and joints are protesting! She just can't bend down to do the weeding anymore. She is not able to get on her hands and knees... she'd never get back up! ;-) It's certainly amazing what can happen to one's body in a year. Now, Mom's weeding days are over and her supervisory role has begun!

Why Does Mom Sleep So Long?

There is a prominent stereotype that Seniors are early risers. They go to bed early in the evening and they rise with the sun. I know several Seniors that fuel this stereotype. My Mom is NOT one of them! My Mom is more like a teenager when it comes to getting up in the morning... she rises closer to noon than to sunrise.

When I first arrived back in Chicago, I found it astonishing that Mom would sleep the morning away. Getting up at 10:30am... really? I just couldn't believe that this was my Mom. She has NEVER had a sleeping pattern like this. Was there something wrong? Why does my Mom sleep for 12 hours?

The answer is not as simple as one might think. In my linear thinking, I saw Mom go to bed at 10:30pm and saw her get out of bed at 10:30am thus equating 12 hours of sleep. In actuality, there is so much more that goes on during those 12 hours. Let's explore:

10:30pm - Mom goes to bed

10:30pm - 12:30am - Mom tosses and turns and tries to get in a comfortable position. If she lays in one position too long, she gets sore. Additionally, her arm really hurts if she lays on it.

12:30am - 3:30am - Mom gets some sleep.

3:30am - Mom gets up to use the bathroom.

3:45am - 5:45am - Mom gets some sleep.

5:45am - Mom gets up to use the bathroom.

6:00am - 7:30am - Mom gets some sleep.

7:30am Mom gets up to use the bathroom and takes her pill.

7:45am - 9:45am - Mom gets the best and deepest sleep of the night.

9:45am - 10:30am - Mom slowly wakes up and decides it's time to get out of bed.

As you can see, in this scenario, Mom gets about 8 hours of sleep, but wakes up several times during the night to use the bathroom and/or take her pill. She always says that she gets the best sleep after she takes her pill in the morning. Since there is not a great reason for Mom to get up early in the morning, I don't intervene in her current sleep schedule. However, I often wonder how much quality sleep she really gets. Maybe we should have a discussion with her doctor to ask why Mom sleeps so long!

When Do You Cross The Line?

My Mom is very stubborn. She knows what she wants to do. One way or another, she will usually get her way. She has taken stubbornness to a new level. She has mastered the art of "guilting". However it is described, my Mom is the Master at achieving her goals! Often, it is much easier on all of us if we just give in to her. Over the years, my sister and I have learned to pick our battles. There are some things Mom wants that are relatively harmless. We give in on those. However, now that I have returned to Chicago, my sister and I are working together to steer Mom in the right direction. There is a fine line that we don't want to cross yet. When should Mom remain in control and when should we intervene?

Mom's primary strategy for getting her way is divide and conquer. She'll tell me one thing and tell Adrienne another. Or she won't say anything to me, but will mention something to A. Or vice versa. However, since I see her all the time, she is not really able to hide too much from me. I can observe her and what's happening to her. Over the course of the past year, I have been able to watch my Mother's strategy at work and have been able to look for ways to get past it. The best way to refute the divide and conquer strategy is to communicate. A and I talk a lot. I give her the missing pieces to the puzzle. This way, we can put together a win-win strategy for Mom's health.

This is a typical situation: Mom's arm has been bothering her every day for a week. She has a touch of arthritis. She will mention that her arm hurts. She will NOT do anything about it. She will not take a Tylenol. She will not use a heating pad. She will not ask for help. When she speaks with my sister on the phone, she won't mention anything about her arm. If my sister asks specifically, she might say something like "Oh, it's been bothering me a little. But it gets better when I keep it warm." So, when I see Adrienne, I have to tell her everything. I tell her that Mom has complained every day for a week. I tell her that she wakes up in the morning and is very, very stiff. I tell her that she goes to bed and has pain if she lays a certain way on her arm. This leads to insomnia and not getting the regenerative sleep that she needs. I tell her that Mom won't take a Tylenol before she goes to bed because she is afraid that it will interact with her medicine. This way, Adrienne has all the information and can guide us towards the best solution.

The best solution to this situation is that Adrienne gave me a cream for Mom to rub into her arm (Ortho-Nesic). Since A is a nurse, Mom took the advice and used the cream. She was amazed at how good her arm felt within moments of using the cream. This was an easy "win" for us. We were able to steer Mom in the right direction without much angst. However, the road ahead may be full of bumps as we confront the issues of declining eyesight, declining hearing, memory lapses, and forgetfulness. We will have to figure out when it's time to cross the line. Luckily, there is not any "line crossing" today.