Mom's TV Adventures

Did I mention that I have brought my Mother over to the dark side? Yes, she has also become a reality TV junkie! LOL With all the TV she has watched lately, she can't help but come across all the reality TV and fall for it, hook, line and sinker. And she has. Mom's absolutely favorite TV show (now that Grey's Anatomy has gone on hiatus for the Summer) is The Bachelor. Every Monday night, she is glued to the TV to find out the latest adventures of Ali in her quest to find love. I had previously "sworn off" this show after the Jason and Melissa/Molly fiasco, but got hooked by Mom last season with Jake (and the now ex-fiance Vienna) and have done it again with Ali.

So why did I fall into The Bachelor "excitement" again? It's simple - Mom can't keep it all straight and I feel compelled to watch with her so that I can explain what's going on and remind her of things. Since she is hooked, I feel badly that she can't keep the guys straight, she can't remember what happened on dates, who Ali likes or doesn't like, etc. It's kind of pointless to watch unless you can keep all of the drama straight, right?

Well, that's my reasoning anyway.

This past Monday, Mom sure got her pulse rate going with all the drama between Ali and Justin. I'm almost thankful for this show since it's getting her pulse rate up into the 40s!

Yes, I'll take the little victories as I can. ;-)

Mind Over Matter?

Thursday cannot come soon enough for me. We visit Mom's cardiologist at noon on Thursday and I'm hoping that we'll have some solutions for Mom. She is VERY affected by her low pulse. Yes, she is experiencing some dizziness, so she is physically affected. However, she appears to be affected mentally as well. Let me clarify:

When Mom gets up in the morning, she sits in the living room where it is quiet and takes her pulse. If her pulse is above 40 (and close to 50), she is happy and says that she feels good. However, if her pulse is below 40 (or close to 40), then she doesn't feel good. She is using her pulse rate as an indicator of how she feels. This is strange.

Not only does Mom say that she doesn't really feel good, she also takes her pulse again about every hour after that for the remainder of the day.

OK, I get that she is worried about her low pulse. She probably should be. But unless her pulse decreases a lot or she feels really dizzy, does it really matter?

All I know is that Mom is worried about this and it's affecting the quality of her life. She is becoming more of a home body and is just sitting around watching TV. It reminds me of how my Dad was in his later years. UGH

I am praying that Doctor T. helps us!!!

Time to Visit the Cardiologist Again!

Mom's heart rate has slowed down again. Her baseline has lowered back down to the low 40s, she has a hard time even finding her pulse many times, her heart beat is irregular and now, she is sometimes lightheaded (this has happened 2x's in the past 2 weeks). So, we're not waiting until her scheduled 6 month visit with Dr. T, we have an appointment for July 1st. Thanks, A, for making that happen.

Maybe this time, the recommendation will be for Mom to get a pacemaker. I don't know yet if she is ready for this. I just asked her about it and she said, "Maybe I'll live longer if I get it. It Ralph lived until 90 and Jean M. has had one for a long time, maybe it would be ok for me to get one." So I think we are making progress. She was adamantly opposed to getting a pacemaker in the past. Now, her attitude is softening towards it. So if Doctor T believes that it is the best course of action for Mom, she may be getting one.

More updates on this topic after our appointment next week.

Accepting Death... the Tipping Point?

Mom and I went to our neighbor's wake yesterday (Mrs. K). Mom planned her entire day around this activity. Two days previously, she had asked me, "So what time do you want to go to Mrs. K's wake?" Mom likes to attend early during the visiting hours because the family "expects her to be there early". I find that hard to believe, but go along with it anyway. What's the harm?

So, we ended up attending about 4:15pm. Yes, right in time to experience a Polish priest conducting a prayer service for her. And for the Polish Highlander group (or whatever that blue hat society is called) to attend and sing in Polish. Definitely interesting and very nice, but makes our visit much longer since they are in the front of the room and we can't just go up to the family to express our sympathies as you normally would.

Mom was in her glory talking to the family and reminiscing. There were also several of her friends in attendance, so she got to sit and visit with them as well. We were there for TWO HOURS, but who's counting? LOL

Mrs. K's funeral was today at 10am. As far as funerals go, it was a really moving service with a good homily and lots of singing in Polish. Those songs really make me emotional! I kept thinking about Mrs. K and how she loved the Polish hymns. She was a good neighbor and we'll miss her.

Luckily, it was a beautiful, but humid, day in Chicago today... at least until all this was over. Once we were home, a HUGE thunderstorm moved in to give us some relief. But during the funeral activities, Mrs. K had sunny skies.

Each family handles the burial differently. Mrs. K's family chose a graveside service and everyone remained while the casket was lowered into the ground (actually into that cement box thingy) and the cover was put in place. Kind of interesting. I hadn't attended one of those for a long time. It was VERY traditional, but really nice.

There was a luncheon served after the service and it was truly a wonderful celebration of Mrs. K's life. Her family was warm and appreciative to all who attended. At each table, the talk was about our memories of Mrs. K - but also some catching up among friends. I saw a friend that I had not seen in 30 years at this luncheon! Mom loves these luncheons. She not only gets to eat a good meal, she gets to socialize. I think that's why Seniors enjoy wakes and funerals so much - they get to see many people that they hadn't seen in a while and they get to socialize with each other.

My perspective on life broadens every day that I am with Mom. I've been thinking about mortality lately. And how some people are "ready" for death. The family of Mrs. K is at peace with her death because they say she was ready. When does that happen? Is there a tipping point? Does this occur when over half of the people you know and love have passed? When you have fulfilled your purpose? When you reach a certain age? What makes you ready?

Maybe attending all the wakes and funeral makes you more ready and this is why Seniors attend so many? I wonder. Questions to ponder...

Back to Normal...

Ah... things are finally back to normal. Mom picked up her new and improved partial from the dentist on Tuesday afternoon and now doesn't have to hide out any longer! Her adventures in getting out started immediately following her dentist appointment. We get into the car and she says, "So, where are we going? What errands do we have to run? Should we stop somewhere and have lunch?" I had to smile. My Mom can smile again without feeling shame and is ready to get out and paint the town. ha ha

I think that Mom wanted to stop at every store that we have ever shopped in just to pick something up and be out and about. We stopped to get some pet food, some groceries, some lottery tickets, and some lunch. She was just so cute.

Unfortunately, it started raining just as we were getting back into our neighborhood, so Mom couldn't go walking around to visit neighbors or go to Gilmart. Bummer.

To make up for lost time, Mom got out of bed early this morning and made her way over to Gilmart bright and early. The sun is shining and Mom is also spreading her sunshine. It's just too cute to see Mom with all this energy and wanting to be out and about. I love it. This is the Mom I know and love!!!

Our House is Like Grand Central Station Today!

There was drama in the neighborhood last night and all the neighbors came out to watch it unfold. I guess that is both the good and the bad of living in our neighborhood. All the neighbors know you, and therefore know your business - that's the bad. The good part is that all the neighbors know you... and actually CARE about you and your business. It's nice, actually.

Our long-time (40+ years) next door neighbor, Mrs. K, died last night. The houses are close together here on the city block and our bathroom and Mrs. K's bathroom are directly across from each other. I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom and kept hearing Mrs. K's phone ring. Call after call after call - like someone was trying to reach her. Shortly after, I heard her eldest son speaking to someone saying that she was in the bathroom and he didn't know if she fell or what happened. Just as I was about to tell Mom that I thought something had happened to Mrs. K, we heard the fire truck and ambulance coming down the street. The firemen and ambulance pulled up in front of Mrs. K's home and entered. All the neighbors came out to sit on their porches to watch the drama. After about 10 minutes, the firemen came out and stood around their truck. Our neighbor from the other side of our house (the family from Poland) walked over to talk to the firemen. Mom, of course, urged me to go outside and get the scoop. SHE would not go because of her toothless situation. I pulled on a sweater and went outside. Our neighbor told me that the firemen said Mrs. K was dead. A few other neighbors came over to talk. The firemen left, the ambulance turned off it's lights and waited at the curb. Not good signs. Pretty soon, the police came - no lights or sirens. Another bad sign. Mrs. K's eldest daughter and her husband showed up. The police were in and out of the house several times. Finally, the youngest daughter (my friend C) and her family showed up. They had to travel at least 45 minutes from the suburbs to arrive. Then, a HUGE SUV pulled up to the curb. It started raining and all the neighbors went into their homes. Our phone started ringing. All the "old lady" neighbors were calling my Mom for info (as stated before, my Mom knows everything!). We guessed what had happened, but didn't have confirmation yet. Mom went to bed - I think she was really sad and kind of thinking of her own mortality. I stayed up to watch the rest of the drama unfold. It really hit home when the undertaker wheeled the body out on a stretcher and placed her in the back of the HUGE SUV (no hearse, thank goodness!). Wow. Both Mom and I had a difficult time sleeping last night.

Mom had a dentist appoitment at 8:30am today. They took an impression and kept her partial. Now she really looks like a hockey player! Watch out, Duncan Keith! LOL She will once again be back to a normal smile at 1pm Tuesday. ;-)

My friend C and her brother and sister arrived at their Mother's home this afternoon. I went out and talked to C about the arrangements. Mom started making her phone calls. She is the most awesome "news spreader" around! We are the epicenter for information.

This is the second neighbor that has died since I've been back. Both were parents of my friends growing up in the neighborhood, so both really struck a chord. Not a good day in the neighborhood today.

Mom Still In Hiding

Our saga continues. Mom went to the dentist yesterday to see about getting her missing tooth fixed. The only available appointment was at 2:30pm, so we took that. Unfortunately, that meant that there weren't any options available for getting her "partial" sent out, fixed and returned. There is usually a day's turnaround (at least), but for that to happen, the work has to be sent to the lab before noon.

So, Mom's options were to have the impression taken yesterday, surrender her partial to the lab and get it back on MONDAY afternoon. That meant an entire weekend without her partial... and basically without any/many top teeth. Not a good option.

Option 2 was to set an appointment for first thing Monday morning to take the impression needed, surrender the partial and get the new partial on Tuesday after 1pm. That means "no teeth" for just over a day. Mom took that option - the smart choice if you ask me - which the dentist did. More on that later.

So, poor Mom... is back to looking like a hockey player until Tuesday - 5 days. UGH

The dentist called me into his office to discuss Mom's options with me. Apparently, she was having a hard time understanding her options and couldn't make a decision. From previous encounters, I knew that meant that Mom wasn't HEARING him. I quickly told her what the situation was and helped her to make the decision that she did. It's amazing to see her handle herself when she cannot hear. She basically sits in the chair and smiles and looks like she is listening attentively.

So, readers, watch your elders carefully for this sign. They are not playing dumb. They can't hear you! Updates next week on Mom's toothless saga!!!

My Mother's "Tribute to the Chicago Blackhawks"

Smiles open doors. Smiles make us feel good. Smiles spread our good mood to others. However, did you ever consider the effect on yourself when you couldn't smile or were ashamed to smile?

I ask this question because my Mom doesn't want to smile at the moment. Why? She lost a tooth and currently looks like a hockey player when she smiles. Her timing couldn't be better; last night, the Chicago Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup! Coincidence?

Mom was eating an ear of corn as part of her dinner last night when this tooth got caught in the corncob, loosened and fell out. Mom has a partial in front and this was an anchor tooth. Poor Mom! You could just see her "deflate" as she looked in the mirror and realized what had happened. Her entire demeanor changed in an instant. She feels horrible about herself. Her attitude is making her lack of energy worse. She is like a wet rag, sitting around doing nothing. It's amazing what happens to your self-confidence when you perceive that there is something "wrong" with your face.

Mom called the dentist this morning and his one and only open appointment is at 2:30pm, so we are headed there shortly. Hopefully, he will be able to fix it today, even if it's a temporary fix. She needs the boost of self-confidence/attitude to keep her on the right track with her health. Keep your fingers crossed for her!!!

Really Low Heart Rate... Again

One of my Mom's health issues is that her heart rate can be really low. When she went into the hospital the last time, her heart rate was in the 30s. Yes, that's right... my Mom's heart beats 35 beats per minute at times. For most people, their heart beats somewhere in the 60-70 beats per minute range. If you're an athlete, it's lower...maybe in the 50s. Not my Mom! Her's is ultra low!

Since I've been back in Chicago, we have done some things to get her heart rate higher. And she has had a heart rate in the mid to upper 40s or even low 50s for the past 6 months or so. But lately (in the past 4-6 weeks), her heart rate has started to decline again.

I have noticed that's Mom's energy is lagging. Now it's showing up in her heart rate. For the past several days now, Mom's heart rate has been in the high 30s... 37, 38, 39. But today, she's getting even lower readings 35, 37, 37. And since she is getting low readings, Mom is obsessed with taking her pulse. Every hour, she goes into a quiet room and takes her pulse. Then she announces it to the house, in general. "My pulse is 37." This has gone on since 11am.

Additionally, I needed to go to the grocery store today. Mom wanted to go with me. I didn't know why she'd want to come along until we were finished shopping and she asked if we could walk over to the pharmacy area so that she could sit at "the machine" and take her blood pressure and pulse rate. Aha! Now I know why she wants to come along! And, unfortunately, she got a reading of 37 for her pulse. UGH

I know that Mom is worried when she says things like "The last time I went into the hospital, my pulse was this low." Like she is warning me or something. Talk about worrying!!! I think I am getting paranoid. Every time I walk into the living room and see Mom napping in her chair, my heart starts to race. That's how my Father died... had a heart attack while sitting in his favorite chair in front of the television. Can my mind make this journey any more terrifying? Oh wait... I think I am developing hives! LOL

Step Away From My Kitchen-Aid Mixer!

Mom and I had quite a full day today as Nick and Marisa (A's twins) are graduating from 8th grade tomorrow and we have several items to make for the party afterwards. My list includes the appetizers (spinach dip and beef/cheese ball), watermelon basket with balls of watermelon/cantaloupe/honeydew melon filling it, Caesar salad, and the dessert (mini cheesecakes with cherry topping). Mom always wants to participate in the preparations, so we try to assign her ONE item to be responsible for. For this party, Mom is to make the Italian sausage.

Mom bought 15 links of Italian sausage from Gilmart yesterday, so she was all prepared to start cooking them this morning so that we'd just have to heat them in the oven for the party. Since she seemed to be having a good time in the kitchen, I let her alone in there and found my recipes and made my shopping list. Mom kept talking to me about the Italian sausage. It was a running commentary of stuff like "I think I'll leave them in the water for an hour." Or "Laverne told me the real Italian way to cook them is to put them in a skillet with water and oil and when the water is gone, they will cook and brown in the oil. Maybe we should try that way." I tried to patiently answer her knowing that her ONE task was important to her and she wanted to do a good job. I thought that her involvement in the party preparations would be over when her job was over. Boy, was I wrong!

First, Mom wanted to go shopping with me. If you have read previous posts, you know what my Mother is like in the store. Her shopping cart is a deadly weapon! And we were headed to TWO different stores today!

Second, Mom wanted to browse around and look at other items for us to get. When I'm shopping for a party, I am a "woman on a mission". There is no fooling around. No browsing. Get in/get out/make the food/done. That's how I operate when there are things to get done. Not today!

Third, Mom wanted to go home between visits to the stores. I just sucked it up at this point and did as she asked.

Fourth, we had been home for about an hour when Mom started nagging me about when I was going to make all my food. So again, I just sucked it up and went into the kitchen to do what had to be done.

Those of you who know me, know that I L.O.V.E. to cook and bake. I take great pleasure in the entire process; getting the ingredients, preparing for the cooking/baking, making the food and presenting/eating the food. I also LOVE my kitchen items. When I moved, the only items that I absolutely would not sell were the Kitchen Aid stand mixer, the Cuisinart coffee maker with grinder and my Dyson vacuum. That says something, doesn't it?

Anyway, Mom decides to be in the kitchen at the same time as I am. After 10 minutes of trying to work around her, I just left. I told her to let me know when she was done. She was cutting pickles and putting olives into containers to take... stuff like that. After about 15 minutes, she told me to come back. She just sat at the kitchen table and watched. Well, that's not all she did. She commented. On everything. The beef/cheese ball needed more meat. The spinach was still frozen and couldn't be used yet. The balls of fruit for the watermelon boat were too small... why didn't I use an ice cream scoop.

I could go on, but you have the idea. There was no JOY OF COOKING tonight. Or at least not until I figured out that Mom just wanted to participate. Maybe she even wanted to be creative. Or feel useful. So, I gave her small tasks. My list of items to make went much smoother after that. And it didn't really take me all that much longer. What are an extra hour or two in the scheme of things anyway???

Energy Levels - Down, Down, Down

Mom has always said, "As long as I have an appetite and can eat, you don't have to worry about me." Well, today, for the first time in as long as I can remember, Mom just said that she doesn't have much of an appetite. Yikes!

In addition, she has really low energy for the second day in a row. Mom isn't feeling like doing much. She said that yesterday, she would do one thing (like wash the dishes) and then have to sit down and rest/watch some TV before she could motivate herself to do something else. This is just not like Mom!

When I got home last night, she even had a list of things that I had to "finish up" for her! She left a load of laundry in the dryer because she didn't feel that her legs would support her if she went to the basement to get the clothes. Again, yikes!

I also noticed that she just didn't have the ability to tolerate certain things. For instance, Mom has a hard time turning off the TV in the living room. The on/off button sits a little funnily and you have to press it just right in order for the TV to turn off. I have no problem with this, but since Mom cannot see very well, she has to do some strange maneuvering in order to turn the TV off (don't ask!). Last night, she attempted this once and then gave up. She just left the living room... didn't turn off any lights along the way as she usually does. It was just like she had run out of energy and couldn't do one more thing.

Now THIS worries me.